CHRISTMAS … it’s that time of the year when you down tools, switch off and enjoy. It’s a time when you can lock yourselves indoors and practice those dance moves whilst the Christmas songs blast out from the speakers. A time when you can get a bit giddy whilst putting the tree up whilst knocking back a few glasses of your favourite alcoholic beverage. A time when you can finally relax, spend time with loved ones, reflect and look forward to a new year.
Get yourself in the Christmas spirit by getting rather merry … a bottle of Harvey Bristol Cream, Haig Scotch Whisky or a few bottles of Babycham will get you warmed up. Throw on a last years Christmas LP and you’ll be crashing into the Christmas tree as you lose control of your body whilst attempting to dance. No worries if you are a bit worse for wear after booze and dancing … it’s Christmas time!
Have you got your Christmas entertainment sorted? No? Well you’re forking out a tidy amount on your TV license so make sure you get your moneys worth. Allow us at retrohen help you plan your Christmas entertainment … retro style of course!
Get Christmas Eve off to a flying start by tuning into BBC1 for a double whammy of Flash Gordon followed by Tarzan and the Leopard Woman. Both of these are in Black and White so you’re chuckling if you have a Black and White TV license. Later at 8pm, tune into Porridge starring Ronnie Barker. After your short spell in the Nick, enjoy some tunes by tuning into The Old Grey Whistle Test (BBC2 10pm). Finish off the evening by flicking back to BBC1 for the Christmas Midnight Communion from Burnley Parish Church.
Christmas Day is here and you realize that Father Christmas managed to sneak in and dump a heap presents under the tree. Presents are frantically opened with shrieks of delight or moans (another pair of bloody socks … didn’t want another knitted jumper). Wrapping paper flies through the air like bullets as presents continue to be unrelentingly unwrapped. Once all the present unwrapping has been completed, it’s time for some Christmas Day entertainment on the telly. The kids will be entertained by ‘Ragtime’ and ‘Hong Kong Phooey’ … sandwiched between these is ‘Sing Noel’ where pupils from a school in Essex join together with the parish church to tell the story of Christmas. The Christmas Morning Service kicks off at 10.15. I’m afraid you’re just stuck to BBC1 for now as BBC2 does not kick off until 12.10pm (of course you can tune into ITV but seeing that you’ve forked out for a TV license for the BBC ony …). Settle down and watch ‘Holiday on Ice’ (1.20pm) as skaters elegantly glide along. After Holiday on Ice it’s time for a bit of a boogie with ‘Top of the Pops’ … shake your body to songs from Abba, Kiki Dee and The Wurzels! After the Queen has spoken to the Commonwealth and you’re recovering from a bellyful of Turkey, Sprouts and Stuffing, it’s time for a little nap … it’s been a tough day so far! Make sure you’re awake at 6.45pm as that’s when the entrainment really kicks in … Bruce Forsyth and The Generation Game followed by the Morcambe and Wise Christmas Show followed by the film Airport staring Burt Lancaster … what a Hat Trick! Christmas Day entertainment is still not over as BBC2 gets in on the act … the film Yankee Doodle Dandy will take you into the early hours of Boxing Day.
So Boxing Day has arrived. You’re feeling the effects of knocking back too many glasses of Sherry, chomping on too many varieties of Quality Street and munching through a box of After Eights. Hopefully if you make it out of bed by 1pm you’ll be able to ease into the day with ‘The Waltons’ at 1.20pm. Tuck into a Turkey sandwich and a cuppa whilst you slowly return to the land of the living. Once you’re back to your normal self then you can get back into the swing of the Christmas entertainment by watching ‘The Wizard of Oz’ with Julie Garland followed by ‘It’s a Knockout’ Christmas special. Now that you’re fully back into the swing of the festive season entertainment it’s fine to start again on the Sherry, Quality Street and After Eights. The Boxing Day entertainment is completed with the quadruple of Dad’s Army, the film ‘Love Story’, ‘The Val Doonican Show’ and the film ‘A Man for all Seasons’. The evening of entertainment is completed by the Weatherman (12.25 – 12.27).
Well that’s your Three days of Christmas television sorted curtesy of the retrohen team. It’s one less thing for you all to think about.
Have a fantastic Christmas everyone … keep warm.
The retrohen team will be back in 2016 with even more chuckles and laughter … retro style of course!