SORRY! Please accept my sincere apologies. I know it was an error on my behalf. It was an impulse buy. It was reduced to a Deep Sea Diver (A Fiver or £5 to a non Londoner). I was reeled in by the bargain price tag and the Beckham branding. I like Becks … I admire him not only for bending it like … well … Beckham, but his all round style. Well Becks, your aftershave looks stylish (nice box and bottle … well dressed like yourself) and it also smells nice (let’s just assume you smell nice eh?). 

By purchasing your aftershave I committed an act worthy of 100 lashes in public view. I’m ashamed of myself and I’m drunk with regret. So what was this act (perpetrated by yours truly) which deserves severe punishment? I betrayed the old school legends of the aftershave industry and went for a younger, sweeter smelling model. I’ve ditched the legends who’ve groomed me into the man I am today. I’ve ditched the legends that set my freshly shaven cheeks on fire after a shave. I’m a traitor!

Sorry Blue Stratos. Sorry Brut (that includes Brut Sport and Musk). Sorry Hai Karate. Sorry Old Spice. Sorry Denim. Sorry Javan. To any more of the old school legends I’ve forgotten, please accept my sincere apologies.

So Becks … our affair lasted a few weeks. At first you worked a treat but I should have caught on that something was not quite right. You smelt nice once splashed onto my freshly shaven cheeks but something was missing. Love is blind … I fell for you in breakneck speed … my downfall was inevitable. When I splashed you on you didn’t burn my cheeks … that is what was missing … that burn. You just gave a light sting but not ‘my face is on fire’ burn. I get pleasure from the burning sensation from a aftershave after a close shave.

Like the Prodigal Son, I decided to crawl back to one of the old school legends, the Kung Fu styled aftershave, Hai Karate. Whilst splashing on the Kung Fu styled aftershave, I got a taste of what I was missing. Hai Karate burned my freshly shaven cheeks. In fact at the point when the burn intensity reached its peak, I was on the verge of letting out a ‘teenager first time applying aftershave’ scream. The burning sensation gave me a sense of satisfaction that the younger and more attractive Beck could not match. The burn from the Kung Fu styled aftershave is unforgettable. The burn tells me that the aftershave is doing its job by promoting rapid healing to my freshly shaven cheeks.

The old school legend welcomed me back with open arms, just like in the parable of the Prodigal Son. I regret having a brief affair with the younger, more attractive model. The grass is sometimes never greener on the other side. I’m grateful for the forgiveness of the old school legend. I know deep down the old school legends will always love me. I recently strengthened my relationship with the old school legends by purchasing a bottle of Brut Sport. Relationship restored and burn intensity restored … I’m in a good place.

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