How to survive a term at Grange Hill (Part 1)

HOW do you survive a term at this well known school? Grange Hill can be tough and you’ve got to have your head screwed on to survive the term. Here’s some advice from the retrohen team that will help you breeze through the term. This week its advice for the boys.

1. Don’t mess with Mr Bronson! This upright, moustache sporting, booming voiced deputy headteacher will keep you in line. Mr Bronson is the Sergeant and you are the Soldier in training … step out out line and expect your eardrums to be shattered by Bronson. You’ve been warned!

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2. Have a laugh with Tucker. Cheekiness, backchat and scheming are a few things you’ll pickup when you hang out with Tucker. He’s the trickster of Grange Hill and you’ll be amazed at how you’ve perfected the art of ducking and diving after spending a term with Tucker and his crew. Join Tucker’s crew now!

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3. Avoid Gripper Stebson! Hide, turn the other way, don’t make eye contact, keep well clear! This bully will beat you to a pulp and you’ll be left shaken like a Martini made for James Bond for the rest of the school term. You think Gripper is a nasty piece of work? He is indeed and he’s always looking to excel in his gangster styled operations at Grange Hill.

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4. Say No to Zammo! He may seem like a cheeky chappy but as I’m looking into my crystal ball I see darkness. Ohh Zammo … why ohh why? You may not see it during this term but things are not looking too bright for Zammo. Have a laugh with him at school but kindly decline if he suggests meeting some ‘other’ mates outside of school.

Zammo

 

5. Be a football genius like Benny. Excel at footie you’ll impress Bullet Baxter. Amazing skill, agility, ball control and lightening speed made Benny an automatic choice on the Grange Hill team sheet … you’ll be an automatic choice too! He’s also part of Tucker’s crew so it’s all good.

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There you have it boys. Play your cards right and follow the retrohen advice and it will be a breeze. Enjoy term time!

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